Quotations
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1.01. Pilot
Michel: "People are particularly stupid today. I can't talk to any more of them."
LORELAI: Please, Luke. Please, please, please.
LUKE: How many cups have you had this morning?
LORELAI: None.
LUKE: Plus...
LORELAI: Five, but yours is better.
LUKE: You have a problem.
LORELAI: Yes, I do.
(Luke fills her cup.)
LUKE: Junkie.
LORELAI: Angel. You've got wings, baby.
"Boys. Don't. Like. Funny. Girls." - Mrs Kim
1.02. The Lorelais' First Day At Chilton
"Bad Girls wear red nail polish" said by Lorelai
RORY: Well, what would they have called me if they thought I looked like a slut?
LORELAI: Well, they might have added a Magdalene to it.
RORY: Wow, biblical insults. This is an advanced school.
1.03. Kill Me Now
"I would rather stick something sharp in my ear, then go to the club with you!" -Lorelai
1.04. The Deer-Hunters
"Behold, in theathers now; the thing that reads alot" Lorelai
[runs into a globe]
Lorelai: What in the world?
LORELAI: I hate when I’m an idiot and I don’t even know it. I like to be aware of my idiocy - to really revel in it, take pictures. I feel we missed a prime Christmas card opportunity.
I guess this goes on the "boy was I wrong" list. Right above gauchos, but just below the Flashdance phase. -Lorelai
1.05. Cinnamon's Wake
LORELAI: Michel, I told you there was going to be a French group here for a couple of days and it is your job to keep them happy.
MICHEL: Lorelai, I don't know how many French people you've met over the years, but most of them are insufferable.
LORELAI: Really?
MICHEL: Mm-hm. That is why I left France.
1.06. Rory's Birthday Parties
Um, I would like to propose a toast to the one thing in my life that is always good, always sweet, and without whom I would have no reason to get up in the morning. My pal Rory. Cheers. - Lorelai
LORELAI:ok burgerboy dance!
LUKE:will you marry me?
LORELAI:what?
LUKE:just looking for something to shut you up!
"Oh, I love pudding. I worship it. I have a bowl up on the mantel at home with the Virgin Mary, a glass of wine, and a dollar bill next to it." -Lorelai
"She's right...I don't know my daughter at all..." -Emily
LORELAI: And it's so hard to believe that at exactly this time many moons ago, I was lying in exactly the same position --
RORY: Oh, boy. Here we go.
LORELAI: Only I had a huge, fat stomach and big fat ankles and I was swearing like a sailor --
RORY: On leave.
LORELAI: On leave -- right! And there I was --
RORY: In labor.
LORELAI: And while some have called it the most meaningful experience of your life, to me it was something more akin to doing the splits on a crate of dynamite.
RORY: I wonder if the Waltons ever did this.
LORELAI: And I was screaming and swearing and being surrounded as I was by a hundred prominent doctors, I just assumed there was an actual use for the cup of ice chips they gave me.
RORY: There wasn't.
LORELAI: But pelting the nurses sure was fun.
RORY: I love you, Mom.
LORELAI: Shh. I'm getting to the part where he sees your head. So there I was...
1.07. Kiss And Tell
"I got kissed, and.. and I shoplifted" -Rory
"I'm going to be so cool in there, you'll misstake me for Shaft" -Lorelai
"I believe once your heart's involved it all comes out in moron." - Lorelai
1.08. Love and War and Snow
RORY: Its freezing in here. [she walks over to shut the window]
LORELAI: Wait, close your eyes and breathe. [Rory does] I smell snow.
RORY: Ah, it's that time of year.
LORELAI: Can't you smell it?
RORY: You know, it's like dogs and high-pitched noises. I think it's something only you can smell.
[Rory sits down next to Lorelai and pulls a blanket over the both of them]
LORELAI: I love snow.
RORY: Really, I had no idea.
LORELAI: Everything's magical when it snows, everything looks pretty.
1.09. Rory's Dance
Emily: I'm not leaving my daughter stranded on the couch. What if you need to get to the bathroom?
Lorelai: I don't go anymore, Mom. I gave it up cold turkey.
1.10. Forgiveness and Stuff
EMILY: So what exactly is going on between the two of you?
LUKE: Nothing. Really. We’re friends, that’s it.
EMILY: You’re idiots, the both of you.
LUKE: Your mother called me an idiot.
LORELAI: Wow, you must have sucked up good.
LORELAI: You don’t look so good.
LUKE: Thanks.
LORELAI: That’s not what I meant. You know you always look good.
LUKE: Yeah?
LORELAI: I mean you always look healthy.
LUKE: Ok.
LORELAI: But you don’t look so healthy now. Now you look...
LUKE: Unhealthy.
LORELAI: Yes.
LUKE: Ok.
LORELAI: Oh what? So I said you look good. We’re not in 5th grade. ‘You look good’, big deal. Stop staring at me.
1.11. Paris Is Burning
RORY: Buttercup is a special dog. She's extremely skiddish and tends to react badly towards blonde haired females, brunette males, children of either sex, other animals, red clothing, cabbage or anyone in a uniform.
(Luke walks up to them)
LORELAI: (to Luke) Hey, we just found the doggy version of you.
MAN: Can I help you?
LUKE: Do not let these two anywhere near a dog. They can barely feed themselves.
1.12. Double Date
1.13. Concert Interruptus
1.14. That Damn Donna Reed
Lorelai; "What's it's name?"
Rory: "Ummm, case Study number 5."
"Stella" -Lorelai
Lorelai:"In the corner, the mafia table where no one can sneak up behind you and whack you with a cannoli."
Rory: "whack you with a cannolli? Oh, because he left the gun and took the cannolli."
Rory: Mother-daughter window washing. We should try that some time.
Lorelai: Yeah, right after the mother-daughter shock treatments.
1.15. Christopher Returns
LORELAI: Um, can I make one more suggestion?
LUKE: No.
LORELAI: Curtains?
LUKE: No.
LORELAI: Manly curtains.
LUKE: Oxymoron.
LORELAI: What did you call me?
LUKE: No curtains.
1.16. Star-Crossed Lovers and Other Strangers
1.17. The Breakup, Part 2
1.18. The Third Lorelai
1.19. Emily In Wonderland
1.20. P.S. I Lo...
1.21. Love, Daisies and Troubadours
"I love you you idiot!" -Rory