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4.01. Ballroom & Biscotti
"They have just upgraded you to a queen-sized bed, Jacuzzi tub, junior suite in hell." -Rory
4.02. The Lorelais' First Day at Yale
"Copperboom"
4.03. The Hobbit, The Sofa and Digger Stiles
LORELAI: Once you have the baby, then you can have the cow. (to Sookie about how much the Inn is going to cost)
PARIS: I need to talk to you about Rory.
LORELAI: Paris?
PARIS: She's not adjusting well. I'm actually concerned about her.
LORELAI: Well, that's very -
PARIS: The socialization process in college is vitally important. The connections we make here can last a lifetime. They can alter the course of our future. That's how important they are.
LORELAI: Okay.
PARIS: Now I'm sure it's tempting to emotionally stunt your daughter so she'll move back home and take care of you in your old age, but I thought you wanted better for her.
LORELAI: My mother - she was here. I can feel it.
RORY: Grandma hasn't been here.
LORELAI: Smell that?
RORY: Smell what?
LORELAI: The room - it smells like guilt and Chanel No. 5.
4.04. Chicken Or Beef
"Lorelai, please don't sneak up on me like that. I almost blew my emergency whistle." - Taylor Doose
4.05. The Fundamental Things Apply
BABETTE: [calls from her front porch] Hey, doll, how you doing?
LORELAI: Great, Babette. Just tending my bulbs.
…
BABETTE: Oh, and just you wait 'til spring. You're gonna wake up one morning, walk out, and pow - color coming out of your yin-yang! I'll see you girls tomorrow. [goes into her house]
LORELAI: I'm going to have color coming out of my yin-yang.
RORY: Well, then maybe you'll finally get a man. This has got to be the grossest thing ever.
…
RORY: Okay, so the next time that Babette gives you a bag of bulbs to plant because you're lonely, you say. . .
LORELAI: No, thank you.
RORY: Class dismissed.
4.06. An Affair to Remember
4.07. Love Me or Louvre Me
RORY: Well, so what? You flinched a little. I bet most people didn't see it.
LORELAI: Stevie Wonder could have seen.
SOOKIE: Sweet-talker. And for me, it was always Emilio 'cause he was kind of nasty.
LORELAI: Same here. Rory's first jumper.
SOOKIE: Bananarama?
LORELAI: I made it out of one of my t-shirts. It was the first thing I ever made her - ever made, ever. It was post-Gilmore economy. Look how tiny.
SOOKIE: Tiny.
LORELAI: She was the most beautiful pink all over. She even smelled pink. That sounds weird. I can't describe it - that little, pink, baby smell. The first time her eyes focused on me and her little fingers reached out. . .I was someone new. She had me.
SOOKIE: Emilio.
LORELAI: Rory.
4.08. Die, Jerk
4.09. Ted Koppel's Big Night Out
Richard (to Marty): One night in the hallway does not a true naked guy make, my friend.
4.10. The Nanny and the Professor
4.11. In the Clamor and the Clangor
LUKE: You're welcome. It's a little narrow up there, so we should just take the tools that we need, leave the toolbox down here.
LORELAI: God, these things are heavy. Don't you have a smaller toolbox?
LUKE: No, why would I have two toolboxes?
LORELAI: 'Cause then you'd have a big one and a small one.
LUKE: Well, if you have a big one you don't need a small one. [Lorelai opens her mouth to speak] Don't say 'dirty', it's too easy. Hold these. [Gives her tools)
4.12. A Family Matter
4.13. Nag Hammadi Is Where They Found the Gnostic Gospels
RORY: You know, I have actually thought about this moment. A lot. What would Jess say to me I ever saw him again? I mean, he just took off, no note, no call, nothing, how could he explain that? And then a year goes by. No word, nothing, so he couldn't possibly have a good excuse for that, right? I have imagined hundreds of different scenarios with a hundred different great last parting lines, and I have to tell you that I am actually very curious to see which way this is going to go.
JESS: Could we sit down?
RORY: No. You wanted to talk, so talk. What do you have to say to me?
[Jess pauses a second.]
JESS: I love you.
[Rory stares after him as Jess walks away, gets into his car and drives away.]
RICHARD: What was his body language like?
LORELAI: Well, he was breathing and standing. I think all signs point to alive.
4.14. The Incredible Shrinking Lorelais
Lorelai (on phone): "Hi, Rory, it's me. How's school? You learning stuff? Listen, we have the horses, Desdemona and Cletus, and the first two rides have to be me and you. And hopefully, you're over the time that I took you for the pony ride, and the pony was old and just sort of stopped and laid down, and you sort of rolled off into the ditch. It's really not likely to happen again. I promise. So, call me, call me."
Rory (on phone): "Mom, it's me, I left you a message at home, too. I love that you got horses. As far as that pony ride when I was a kid, you were forgetting one little tidbit there. That pony did not lie down. He died, okay? He died. And then the owner dragged him away by the back legs. Every time I use glue, I think of him. But I'll watch you ride, how's that? Call me back, bye."
4.15. Scene in a Mall
"Why is Kirk talking to his man purse." -Lorelai
4.16. The Reigning Lorelai
LORELAI: Was that her real name -- Sweetie?
EMILY: No, her name was Melinda. Sweetie was a nickname.
LORELAI: Why?
EMILY: What do you mean, why?
LORELAI: I mean, how did they get Sweetie from Melinda?
EMILY: They didn't get Sweetie from Melinda. Sweetie is a nickname.
LORELAI: Yes, I know Sweetie was a nickname, but usually, a nickname comes from a version of your name, or there's a story behind the name or something.
EMILY: She was sweet. That's the story.
LORELAI: Okay.
EMILY: She had a very sweet nature.
LORELAI: Hm.
EMILY: Well, what kind of story did you want, Lorelai?
LORELAI: No, that's fine. She was sweet. They called her Sweetie. It's a good story.
EMILY: No, really. Exactly what kind of story about my recently departed friend would amuse you?
LORELAI: Mom, it's not to amuse me. It's --
EMILY: All right, fine. Sweetie's father was a very poor man -- so poor that Sweetie and her four siblings all had to sleep in a hollowed-out tree trunk because the house was only big enough for their parents. One winter, there was no food, so Sweetie crawled out of her trunk, wrapped her feet in newspaper, and walked forty miles in the snow to the nearest town, where she stumbled into a candy store. The owner took pity on her and gave her bags of candy, a dill pickle, and drove her back to her family. He promptly offered a job to her father, who gladly accepted and eventually owned that store and turned it into one of the most important candy emporiums in the world. And that is how she got the name Sweetie. There, how was that?
LORELAI: Now, that was a pretty good story
LORELAI: ...I don't know that much about Gran, like...what was her maiden name?
EMILY: Gilmore.
LORELAI: No, her maiden name.
EMILY: Gilmore.
LORELAI: You don't mean that....
EMILY: She and Charles were second cousins.
LORELAI: Ewwww!
EMILY: Don't act so scandalized! It wasn't at all uncommon in those days for prominent families to keep the blood lines close.
LORELAI: Keeping the bloodlines close?!?! Is that what you're calling it?
EMILY: Well, what would you call it?
LORELAI: Uh, I don't know...how 'bout: "Good morning, Appalachia! I've got a might cute sister and an extra set of toes!"
4.17. Girls in Bikinis, Boys Doin' the Twist
Paris- "Well excuse me for thinking a banana eating contest would actually involve eating bananas."
Kirk(cycling past Lorelei and Rory who are walking now): Well, well, well, I guess it wasn't me that was slowing things down, guess it was my big fat cargo!
Rory: Hey!
Kirk: Freshman 15!!
Lorelei: Kirk!
Kirk: Can't wait to get my doughnut!
Lorelei(shouting while running): Stay away from my doughnut Kirk. I mean it!
Rory(running): My doughnut!
Girl: Is it raining?
Paris: No its National Baptismal Day. Tie your tubes idiot!
4.18. Tick, Tick, Tick Boom
Lorelai: I mean they were extremely common until just recently, historically recently. Not recently like "metrosexual is a word now" recently, but recently.
Emily: Are we still talking about anvils?
Lorelai: Yes, Where did all the anvils go?
Emily: You're talking about those big, heavy, metal things?
Lorelai: That blacksmiths hammered horseshoes and stuff on. Everyone had them. They were featured prominently in every movie western. So where did they all go?
Richard: I don't know that they were that common.
Lorelai: Wile E. Coyote used one. That's how common they were.
Emily: Who?
Lorelai: The cartoon. He was always trying to drop an anvil on the road runner's head. Or shoot it at him out of a giant sling-shot. Or fire it at him out of a cannon. Inevitably, the cannon tilted up, shot it in the air, it fell down, and made an anvil-shaped impression on Wile E. Coyote's head.
Emily: This is a cartoon?
Lorelai: No, no, this just happened to me the other day. I was walking down the street and this giant anvil-yes, mother it's a cartoon.
Rory: I know she sounds nuts, but it's a very common cartoon.
...
Lorelai: Bob's brilliant, huh?
Richard: He's a Rhodes Scholar.
Lorelai: Ask him where the anvils went. . . or not.
4.19. Afterboom
4.20. Luke Can See Her Face
MAN ON CASSETTE: Complete the following sentence -- I feel angry because...
LUKE: I am listening to this tape.
MAN ON CASSETTE: I feel hopeful because...
LUKE: This tape must end eventually.
MAN ON CASSETTE: I feel helpless because...
LUKE: I wonder if anyone's ever kicked an audiotape's ass.
4.21. Last Week Fights, This Week Tights
4.22. Raincoats and Recipes
Lorelai: No hustle, no hora. It was a slow dance -- a waltz. Luke can waltz.
Rory: Luke can waltz?!
Lorelai: Luke can waltz.
Rory: Look how you just said, "Luke can waltz."
Lorelai: What, I'm just saying, I'm surprised that Luke can waltz.
Rory: That sounded more like, "I'm surprised I still have my clothes on."
LUKE: I thought we were on track, and now you're standing there looking at me like I'm crazy.
LORELAI: I'm not looking at you like you're crazy!
LUKE: You know the last time I bought flowers for someone? Never! That's when! Very easy stat to remember!
LORELAI: I loved the flowers!
LUKE: And then when I walked you home after the wedding, there was a moment. I thought there was a moment.
LORELAI: There was! There was a moment. [Luke gazes at Lorelai, then moves closer.]
LORELAI: What are you doing?
LUKE: Will you just stand still?
[He gathers her in his arms and they kiss. Lorelai pulls away then moves back closer to Luke.]
LUKE: What are you doing?
LORELAI: Will you just stand still?
"I'm loving you like a $2 whore" by Lorelai
LORELAI: I think I'm dating Luke.
RORY: What?
LORELAI: I'm not sure. It's just a possibility. I could be wrong.
Luke: I'm not a mysterious man am I?
Lorelai: Well, the wardrobes a bit of a head scratcher.
Rory (playing video game): Where'd I go?
Lane: I don't know!
Rory: What do I do?
Lane: I don't know!
(video game makes explosion noise)
Rory: Did I lose?
Lane: Well, you have no head, so I would say yes