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5.01. Say Goodbye to Daisy Miller
LORELAI: No, I don't want to forget it ever happened. It was a great kiss.
LUKE: Yeah?
LORELAI: If one of us had been a frog, it would have had some seriously impressive consequences.
Emily: I will stay in bed until 10 and have two glasses of wine with lunch.
Richard: Only prostitutes have two glasses of wine at lunch!
Emily: Well, then buy me a boa and fly me to Reno because I am open for business!
LUKE: Do me a favor and keep it to yourself. Let her tell you if she wants to, okay?
SOOKIE: Sure. Okay. Call me Belinda, 'cause my lips are sealed.
5.02. A Messenger Nothing More
5.03. Written In The Stars
Luke: "Lorelai this thing you and me are doing, i just want you to know i am in! i am all in"
LORELAI: Hey, do you remember the first time we met? [...]
LUKE: [nods] It was at Luke's, it was at lunch, it was a very busy day, the place was packed, and this person -
LORELAI: [gasps] Ooh, is it me? Is it me?
LUKE: This person comes tearing into the place in a caffeine frenzy.
LORELAI: [gleeful] Ooh, it's me.
LUKE: I was with a customer. She interrupts me, wild-eyed, begging for coffee, so I tell her to wait her turn. Then she starts following me around, talking a mile a minute, saying God knows what. So finally I turn to her, and I tell her she's being annoying -- sit down, shut up, I'll get to her when I get to her.
LORELAI: Y'know, I bet she took that very well, 'cause she sounds just delightful.
Lorelai: This has been a really great first date
Luke: It took us only eight years to get here
Logan: "Don't put your number, don't put your number."
Finn: " I'm not putting my number i'm putting your number."
Rory: " That's my room."
Logan: " Okay, put my number."
5.04. Tippecanoe and Taylor, Too
RORY:That's weird... The thought of Luke running around naked in my kitchen. It's weird.
LORELAI: Luke is not running around naked in your kitchen. He is sitting at the table, and, yes, he is naked.
LUKE: [cringes] Don't do that. Don't tell her I'm naked. I'm not naked. [calls out] I'm not naked!
RORY: [teasing] He sounds naked.
5.05. We Got Us A Pippi Virgin
5.06. Norman Mailer, I'm Pregnant!
5.07. You Jump, I Jump, Jack
RORY: Once in a lifetime experience!
LOGAN: Only if you want it to be.
"People can live a hundred years without really living for a minute. You climb up here with me, it's one less minute you haven't lived" -Logan to Rory
Rory: High. We are very high.
Logan: I've been higher.
Rory: I meant 'distance from the ground'.
Logan: That, too.
5.08. The Party's Over
Logan: You'll be okay.
Rory: No, I won't.
Logan: Okay, that's it. Back to the pool house, men. We have some serious
bucking up to do here.
Colin: I swiped some Scotch.
Finn: I'll reenact the Passion of the Christ.
[The boys cheer and head inside.]
Logan: Hey Ace, nothing ever seems quite as bad after Finn's Passion of the
Christ. Except Finn's Passion of the Christ.
Logan:Stands up So, who's it going to be?
Rory: What?
Logan: Well, this shindig's an obvious meat market, I've got the feeling
that your grandparents are expecting you to choose someone tonight, so...
Rory: Oh, well...
Finn: Me. Pick me.
Others: No, pick me!
Finn: But I'm exotic!
Colin: So's the Asian Bird flu.
Logan: Wow. A room full of guys and still extremely slim pickings.
5.09. Emily Says Hello
5.10. But Not As Cute As Pushkin
Rory: I have no words.
Logan: It was just a joke.
Rory: Oh, no, wait, I thought of some. Jerk, ass, arrogant, inconsiderate, mindless, frat boy, lowlife, buttfaced miscreant.
Logan: Buttfaced miscreant.
Rory: Why would you do something like that?
Logan: I'm sorry. Buttfaced miscreant?
Rory: Yes. I have to go to the Fro-Yo social. And yes, I do realize how
incredibly stupid that just sounded. Excuse me. [She leaves.]
Logan: Got lost. Don't tell anyone I was here, ruin my rep. Anna, it's been
a pleasure. See you, Ace. [smiles as he walks away.]
Anna: He's cute.
Rory [re-shelving the books]: Yes, he is. But not as cute as Pushkin. Right
this way, missy.
Colin bursts into the classroom.]
Colin: Excuse me, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Professor: I'm right in the middle of a class, young man.
Colin: I know, I'm sorry. [He walks up to Rory.] Rory, you can't just walk
out like that. Not after everything we've been through.
[Rory looks baffled. Anna is now wide awake.]
Colin: You just left. I was still in bed, I mean, what is that all about?
Professor: Okay, you need to do this later.
Colin [points threateningly at the professor]: I can't do this later. Rory,
I love you. I love you, damn it. How many times do I have to tell you? God,
just talk to me!
Professor: Okay, out! Right now, just get -
Logan [entering]: Colin! What are you doing, man?
Colin: Get the hell out of here!
Logan: She's with me now, I told you that. Let it go.
Colin: I will not let it go!
Logan: She doesn't love you, Rory, tell him you don't love him!
[Rory is speechless, and looking more and more angry.]
Colin: Everything was fine until you came along!
Logan: Don't blame me 'cause you couldn't keep her!
Colin: I swear to God, I'm going to kill you.
Logan: Oh, I'd love to see you try.
[Colin jumps on Logan and they wrestle in front of the class. Logan throws
Colin over the professor's desk, then jumps over after him.]
Professor: Stop it! Stop it right now! Anthony, get security! Stop - break
it up! What are you - gentlemen! You are losing control! You are in a
classroom, stop it! [The professor glares at Rory, who is completely
horrified. Anna is fascinated.]
[Finn enters, wearing a British police officer's uniform. He blows a
whistle. At this point it is apparent to everyone that it is a prank.]
Finn: All right, that's enough, break it up, you two! [He pulls Logan and
Colin to their feet by their collars.] Rory Gilmore, you should be ashamed
of yourself. Toying with these boys like this. They used to have pride. They
used to have dignity. They used to have balls. [He leads them out the door,
then stops.] Damn it Gilmore, give 'em back their balls!
[The class laughs and applauds. Logan, Colin and Finn reappear and bow. Rory
is visibly upset and embarrassed.]
LORELAI: One quick trip downstairs, and I have all the treats I want. You're like Willy Wonka but hotter.
LUKE: I am not hotter than Willy Wonka.
LORELAI: Slap on a purple top hat, and you're close.
5.11. Women of Questionable Morals
5.12. Come Home
5.13. Wedding Bell Blues (100th)
"You and me, we're done!" -Lorelai to Emily
"That ain't no toilet bowl." Babette
RICHARD-Lorelai Focus
LORELAI-I'm a Camera
Lorelai: It's a pretend wedding J.Lo has 'em all the time
Logan:"You're special"
Rory:"Like stop eating the paste kind of special?"
"Isn't she hilarious? I never have any idea what she's talking about but she's so entertaining. Like a chimp." -Emily about Lorelai
5.14. Say Something
5.15. Jews and Chinese Food
5.16. So... Good Talk
Logan: How much do you want to bet?
Rory: All the money in my purse, plus a million dollars!
LORELAI: Well, I did get a piece of mail. The temple of Apollo.
RORY: Grandma still hitting you with the postcards, huh?
LORELAI: As if nothing even remotely unpleasant happened between us. How
does she do that? Compartmentalize like that? It’s weird. She’s the serial
killer who goes to work and talks about a funny Seinfeld he saw and then
goes home and cooks himself a man-flesh sandwich.
5.17. Pulp Friction
"Cluelessness is the mother of invention." -Lorelai
LORELAI (to Emily): Please hear me. If I want your input in my life in any way, shape or form, I will ask for it. Until then, do us all a favor and shut up!
5.18. To Live And Let Diorama
5.19. But I'm A Gilmore
"This one time mom wore a shirt with a rhine-stone penis on it to friday night dinner" -Rory to Logan
"How can somebody hate you? Thats like hating Thumper." - Lorelai
5.20. How Many Kropogs To Cape Cod?
5.21. Blame Booze And Melville
"The party's in New York, so you may not even need pants." -Lorelai
5.22. A House Is Not A Home